Failing at math, failing at geography

It's 1965.

Major League Baseball has 20 teams.
Pro football - across both the NFL and AFL - has 22 teams.
The NBA, in its 16th season, has 9 teams.

The National Hockey League, in its 48th season of operation, has 6 teams. 

Hockey is a very regional sport, and it would be understandable to believe that the sport would only appeal to residents of Canada and the northernmost parts of the U.S. 

But broadcast money is a big deal in other sports. The NHL is missing out. They can appeal to a wider audience nationally if they're on US TV. If they're on US TV, more fans will see the game and want a team in their area. More exposure, more teams, more money. (Oh, and more jobs for players I guess...)

 

The NHL announces plans to double the size of their league: six new teams will be added in 1967, to coincide with the league's 50th anniversary. Over a dozen cities across North America apply for teams.


Aside from the politics of satisfying pre-existing relationships, the league has to consider cities with the broadest appeal. Baseball's westward expansion to Los Angeles and San Francisco was a success - large, growing populations hungry for pro sports teams. The state of California has a population of over 18 million in 1965; surely some small fraction of them would support pro hockey.

Having a cross-country presence is admittedly a big swing. The NHL wants to make some headway in the national sports landscape, particularly in winter months when baseball and football are over. But there are major media markets in the northeast that, you know, have winter.

Pittsburgh and Philadelphia make sense. Natural rivalries with New York (and each other) and plenty of sports fans. Expanding the NHL's footprint in a major population center? Check. Traditional ice hockey-weather cities? Check. Pleasing friends and partners of existing NHL owners? Check.

Two teams out west, two teams out east. Now to fill in the center of the map... and we can't forget about

Minnesota. It's the state of hockey, dontcha know. How could an NHL team possibly fail here?


St. Louis has a strong pro sports tradition and a venue in place - which happens to be controlled by the owners of the closest existing team, the Chicago Black Hawks. It's a favor, but a sensible one.

Cross-country coverage complete. 

What's that? The south?!?

You're kidding right? There's no interest. California is one thing, but let’s be real. Where could the National Hockey League possibly put a team? Texas? Florida? Pssh. That would never work.

Splitting these teams into two divisions along geographical lines should be simple. It should probably look something like this:

East - Boston, Montreal, Toronto, New York, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh
West - Detroit, Chicago, Minnesota, St. Louis, Los Angeles, San Francisco Oakland

Sounds good, yes?

This would be unfair to the incoming teams, who would struggle to make the playoffs for the foreseeable future if they had to compete against long-established squads. So instead we'll split the teams thusly:


East - Boston, Montreal, Toronto, New York, Detroit, Chicago
West - Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Minnesota, St. Louis, Los Angeles, Oakland

The extra travel might be rough for some teams(especially the Pennsylvania clubs) but the expense will be offset by playoff revenue. Four brand new expansion squads will be guaranteed to make the postseason. One expansion team will be guaranteed a berth in the Final. Everyone is happy.

Well, almost everyone...

Western Canada gets left out in the cold. The NHL passes on a strong expansion bid by a group from Vancouver. Naturally, the fans blame Gary Bettman. Sure, he's only a teenager at the time and has no involvement in pro sports leagues of any kind. But we all know how much he hates Canada.

Vancouver is promised dibs on a team in the next round of expansion.

After doubling the size of their league, the prudent thing for the NHL would be to let the "second six" find solid footing before adding more teams and watering down the rosters any further.

Two more teams will be added three years later - one in the East...

... and another one in the East:

uh... Vancouver is in the East... right?

Yes, of course. It says so right here:

The "West" division is already home to all the 1967 expansion teams. Slotting in the Sabres would make less sense geographically but it would at least line up with the plan to have one divison of established teams and one division of expansion teams. 

Chicago gets to join St. Louis in the West, since it was largely their idea to choose the Blues in the first place. The NHL could take this opportunity to realign the divisions. 

 

Eh, maybe next time.

Not only do the Canucks get to pile up frequent flyer miles, they get to play two thirds of their games against the Bruins, Rangers, Canadiens, and Maple Leafs. Sure, they'll struggle to win games. But we've got to build that cross-Canada rivalry! 

Now... how should the NHL decide who gets to pick 1st overall in the entry draft? There's a terrific young center available that any team would be thrilled to build their team around. He could go a long way toward making one of these clubs respectable, perhaps even successful, within five years. 

Oh! How about we spin a big ol' numbered carnival wheel? Half for Buffalo, half for Vancouver. Whichever team it lands on gets their choice of selecting first in the amateur draft or the expansion draft.

Orr... we could spin the wheel twice. Win the spin, pick first. Win both spins, pick first in both drafts. 

 

Vancouver, you'll get the numbers before 7, Buffalo, you'll get anything after 7. If it lands on 7, we'll re-spin.  

Oh, and make sure you put a '1' on that wheel, since it's for pick number 1 (and also because that's how numbers start.)

 

 

Oh hey... it landed on 1. The commissioner said so. Vancouver wins!


Nope, it landed on 11 (and there's no '1' on the wheel anyway), so Buffalo wins the draft rights to Gilbert Perreault.

 

Say, Gil, what number would you like to wear? 

Oh that's just mean

Buffalo wins the first pick in the expansion draft and the waiver draft and the entry draft. But that's all the good fortune that franchise will ever have. Vancouver, you'll be fine. You're good Canadian boys. 

Interpreted as: most regular-season wins by NHL team in the 70s

		TEAM	W	GP	L	T	PTS	PTS%	G	GA	DIFF	PP%	PK%	S/GP	S%	SA/GP	SV%
1		Canadiens	499	788	155	134	1,132	.718	3,258	2,003	1,255	30.1	82.3	32.89	12.6	28.75	.912
2		Bruins	485	788	188	115	1,085	.688	3,304	2,293	1,011	22.0	78.4	33.64	12.5	27.78	.895
3		Flyers	393	788	244	151	937	.595	2,714	2,157	557	24.6	79.8	32.82	10.5	29.41	.907
4		Rangers	387	788	278	123	897	.569	2,867	2,508	359	26.2	77.1	33.59	10.8	28.90	.890
5		Black Hawks	379	788	273	136	894	.567	2,575	2,206	369	18.6	80.4	29.55	11.1	30.74	.909
6		Maple Leafs	334	788	324	130	798	.506	2,613	2,529	84	23.3	80.0	32.69	10.1	32.16	.900
7		Sabres	332	712	251	129	793	.557	2,481	2,227	254	21.4	81.9	31.18	11.2	29.49	.894
8		Kings	302	788	359	127	731	.464	2,416	2,596	-180	22.1	78.8	29.86	10.3	30.51	.892
9		Penguins	300	788	353	135	735	.466	2,562	2,718	-156	21.3	76.0	31.79	10.2	31.45	.890
10		Blues	291	788	369	128	710	.451	2,295	2,618	-323	17.0	74.0	30.30	9.6	29.92	.889
11		Red Wings	281	788	388	119	681	.432	2,408	2,836	-428	22.4	77.8	30.07	10.2	30.22	.881
12		North Stars	256	788	401	131	643	.408	2,247	2,744	-497	18.2	75.6	29.49	9.7	32.63	.893
13		Islanders	252	556	200	104	608	.547	1,893	1,622	271	31.3	81.8	28.65	11.9	29.78	.902
14		Flames	233	556	228	95	561	.504	1,775	1,744	31	23.0	80.4	29.33	10.9	29.60	.894
15		Canucks	231	712	377	104	566	.397	2,122	2,659	-537	20.6	76.3	28.50	10.5	31.35	.881
16		Barons	185	708	410	113	483	.341	1,924	2,727	-803	15.1	74.2	27.62	9.8	33.13	.884

Aww shit. Maybe the 1980s will be better?

🏒

Thanks for reading!



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